Choices

So yesterday, once again God revealed to me my weaknesses. Of course, I know that He does this in total love, so that I can move forward in being more like Him and less like me.

This is the story. I have been keeping Liam (3) for some time for Miranda now. It is a beautiful trading system that we have. I keep Liam one day a week, and she keeps Mia one day a week. Yesterday I also kept Meris (5 months) for Miranda. She is a precious little baby, and I was pretty excited about having her here with me. Only one thing...I forgot how much time a baby takes. Not because they really need anything...they just need you. Meris wanted to be held or for me to be in the room with her. This is reasonable for a baby...I just forgot. Mia, wild as she is, is very independent and plays alone well. I had not mentally prepared for not getting anything done. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by a mouthy daughter and a baby who needed me (Liam was really an angel), when Faith called me. She called about a RIHOP t-shirt. God had Faith call me to clue me in on my weakness and to help me see it and change my perspective. When I asked Faith to pray for me because I was frustrated, she asked me why I was babysitting. Was I doing this to bless Miranda? My answer was yes. I spouted off how I could not believe what saints Nadia, Elizabeth, Miranda and other moms of babies and toddlers/preschoolers are to be able to handle this. She says to me, "That is why they need your help." I hung up with her, and suddenly ( you know those kinds of moments...when you feel like a hammer hit you in the back of the head), I realized that I had been completely and totally SELF-CENTERED! I had been SO worried about what Amy could not do, about how this effected Amy's day that I missed that I was doing this to be a loving friend and a servant. I did not for one minute think, "I am so glad Miranda has this time to work with no distractions" or "I am so fortunate to be able to love these children".

God uses simple life experiences and His friends, like Faith, to reveal our weaknesses. I am so glad that He showed me in the privacy of my home. I see this as His precious mercy. He does not want me to stay self-centered. He wants me to CHOOSE to be a kind and loving servant. Oh how I love Him.