Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34

It seems that God has been highlighting this scripture to me a lot this week. It opens my eyes to the reality that I depend on money, on a job, on ministry support to take care of me....and not Him.

My most recent concern has been my trip to the mid-west. Gas, hotel stays (during the travel to and from), lost income...it is a pricey little venture, even with the blessing of friends who open their home to me for the whole time I am out there. Yet, I feel confident He is saying to go. I feel confident that it will be a trip filled with the goodness of God. But the nagging concern about the financial aspect has been growing. Truth be told, I am telling that nag to shut up. I know my Father in heaven. I know that the Lord sees us. He knows every hair on our heads. He loves us. He is our Father. Today, I commit , again, to fix my eyes on Him and Him alone as the one who cares for me. Truly, every good and perfect gift comes from Him. I choose today to trust in Him and Him alone.

Waiting

For a long time now, I have been in a place of wondering and waiting. What is my destiny? Where will I live? What is God calling me to do? Will I be a missionary to the nations? Will I, will I ,will I? When is the other question. When God, when?

I have discovered a lot about myself in the place of waiting. I am impatient. I want things to happen right now. I do not want to wait. Yet, God has shown me that this place of waiting has a lot to do with learning to be patient. I have also learned that I am a control freak. I want things to happen the way I have imagined and in my own time. I want to control the way it all happens. Yet, God is using this waiting to teach me that in reality, I want Him to be in control. I will make a mess of things if I do them my own way in my own time. Isaiah 55: 9 says it all. " For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." I know He is smarter than me. I mean, He created the universe...and me.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have prayed from Song of Solomon 8:5 " Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?" I want to come up leaning. I want to lean upon the goodness of the Lord. I want to lean upon His wisdom. I want to lean upon His perfect timing. I want to be fully given over to Him, living a life of complete surrender, a life laid down in total love and adoration.

BUT OH MY GOSH..THE WAIT! I have decided that the wait has many paradoxes. It is terribly beautiful. It is a tortuous mystery. It is the most wonderfully awful place to be. Just this week, though, I have had an epiphany. I think secretly, I like the wait. I see it for what it is a bit more clearly these days than before. The wait is alluring and mysterious. It reveals God's nature so much more than if He just let me do what I want when I want. I get the pleasure of seeking Him, listening for Him, trusting in Him, waiting on Him. I have a feeling that when this season of waiting is over and His plans and purposes are revealed, I will miss it a little. I feel pretty confident that I will look back on this time with affection.

Of course, there will be more waiting. It is always about waiting. It is always about trusting. It will always be there, but I have a sense that each season of waiting is unique...never like the ones before. That is the beauty of loving a mysterious God. He loves to be sought out, so He hides in the midst of the waiting, longing to be found. I will always seek Him...it is a persistence He has put in me. I cannot idly sit by wondering what He is up to. I have to go after Him. It is how I was made. I am learning to do it with His purposes in mind, instead of my own selfish motives.

For now, I daily ask for strength to wait. I ask that He will lead me into the light and reveal Himself to me. For when He reveals His plans, I will be ready. I will come up leaning, because He has taught me to wait. It is my destiny...I just know it.

Happy

I am perfectly aware of and rather well acquainted with the truth that joy is not based on circumstances. I have lived out a few very painful years and yet, I have done it with joy in my heart. I find my joy in the Lord. His unfailing love sustains me, His joy is my strength. I have wept many a tear, screamed many angry cries to the Lord, and held a few pity parties for myself, BUT that was all short lived. I would suffer a day of agony, but always...and I mean always, He picked me up, brushed me off and breathed His love into my barren heart and there would be my joy again. My joy is not based on a time or a place or a person. My joy is founded in the heart of God, rooted and grounded there. As long as I keep my eyes on Him, my joy is unmovable, unshakable, and it is irrevocable.

All of that is to say, that I know where true joy is found. Yet, there is something to be said with being plain old happy. Happy that is based on my location and my circumstances and on the company that I keep. Today, I am happy. I woke up in Kansas City, MO, in the home of one of my very best friends, Kris Skeele. I love this woman and her family, and I love to be with them. Mia loves to be with them, and she gets along so well with the kids. She is happy here, too. She said to me yesterday, " Mommy, I am so glad we are in Kansas City". We also went to the prayer room at IHOP today. Even in the midst of the tons of people that were there (we wandered a while before finding seats), I was at peace, I felt the presence of God, and I loved being there. Mia danced and sang and was happy (until she claimed that she was starving to death and felt we needed to leave instantly to get food).Then, tonight we had "ohana". Ohana means family in Hawaii. Home group at the Skeele's house is ohana, and it feels like family. I saw friends, worshiped the Lord, ate yummy food, prayed for a friend...loved being here. (side note...I must say though, I have a group in Richmond that I simply cannot love more than I do for fear that my heart may explode.) After ohana, I chatted with Kris, listened to her oldest son play around on the guitar, watched the younger kids put on a hilarious skit, and then chatted some more.

Is there something magical about Kansas City? Is it any better than any other place? Is the grass greener on this side of the fence? No, but there are many things and many people that I love here, so when I am here, I am happy. I am very, very happy.

The 2nd part of our summer update letter

The rest of the newsletter:

RIHOP Happenings

Omega

In the spring, I helped Shawn Jarrard, our prayer room director, to facilitate an Omega Course at RIHOP. The course is an 8 session DVD teaching on the end times, by Mike Bickle, the director of the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. The study of the end times is so important to the Lord , that there are over 100 chapters on this topic in the Bible! Many people are nervous and even skeptical about the study of the end times. This course gives Biblical truths to confront our fears and to reveal the truth about what the Bible says about the tribulation, the millennial reign of Jesus Christ and what role we are to play as followers of Christ. It makes my heart come alive as we study this reality. It was also exciting to see the hearts of others come alive as we spent an hour discussing the teaching, the scriptures, and asking questions, following the video.

Immersed Internship

It is with great anticipation and a bit of nervousness, that I will be jumping in to help with the summer internship at RIHOP next month. I will be joining the internship for the second half of the month, as a teacher. I will be teaching on the Song of Solomon as well as on cultivating the oil of intimacy, as taught in the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25. Immersed is a 30-day intensive focused on raising up messengers who will be a voice in their community as they devote themselves to a lifestyle of prayer and fasting. It is going to be an exciting time of setting ourselves apart for the Lord and praying for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him!

For more information on the current happenings at the house of prayer and for the prayer room schedule, go to www.rihop.com.

Family Life

Mia and I continue to live with my parents, and my brother (when he is not traveling for work). I cannot begin to describe what a pleasure and a blessing it is to live with my family. I moved out when I was 19, so it was a bit of an adjustment when we first moved in. After the initial adjustment, it has been a wonderful experience. My parents are so generous, kind, and loving. They are so supportive of me and so good to both of us. Having Bryan here is amazing, too. I am enjoying spending time with him, and Mia, well, she adores him. I feel so loved, and it is a wonderful feeling.

Mia just finished taking her first grade standardized test, and we are eagerly awaiting her scores. She is such a smart girl, and I know she did great. We will be taking off the month of July from home school, but we will begin again the first week of August.

Mia also just finished a 5 day summer camp with the group, Christian Youth Theater. Mia did dancing, singing, drama, art and even some playing in the water. On Friday, the kids put on a performance for family and friends. Mia did a great job. I am praying for the funds to be able to sign her up for classes in the fall. I know she will love the classes and making new friends.

Vacation

On June 28, Mia and I will hop in the car and begin the 18.5 hour trip to Kansas City, MO. We will spend 2 nights with my best friend (Mia's aunt) ,Deanna ,and her family, in Belleville, IL and then head to Kansas City on June 30. We will be staying with our precious friends, the Skeeles, until July 12. While we are there, we will spend time with our many friends, go to the prayer room at IHOP, and Mia will attend the Signs and Wonders Camp. On the way home, we will stay with Deanna a couple of days and plan to be back in Richmond on July 15.

Partnership

As an urban prayer missionary, I depend on the generosity of others for my funding. If you are interested in partnering with me and Mia, please send all tax-deductible gifts ,made out to “RIHOP”,to my home address:

Amy Hargrave 6430 Camille Drive Mechanicsville, VA 23111

Please do not put my name on the check. If you do not need a tax deduction, please send the check in my name.

Thank you for considering a partnership with me as we raise up night and day prayer in Richmond,VA.

You may also contact me at: amyhargrave@rihop.com or find me on Facebook

Please pray for us! Prayer is powerful, and it works. Please pray for us as a family, for home school, for financial provision, and for growth in our relationship with the Lord. Please pray for me, as I step out to teach interns at RIHOP next month. Please pray that God will move in the hearts of the interns. Please pray that the Lord will make a way for me to be fully devoted to Mia in home school and to RIHOP as part-time staff. Currently, my financial situation has me working part time in addition to these two things. I truly desire to give myself fully to teaching Mia and to ministering to the Lord and His people as an urban prayer missionary, right here in Richmond.

Hide and Seek

I wanted to post my whole summer update here, but I cannot figure out how to make that happen. Sooo...I will post bits and pieces. Here is bit number 1 :)

Learning to Seek

Have you ever noticed how children love to play hide and seek? There is something exhilarating about searching for someone, never knowing when they will jump out. Even as children, we know that the person we are seeking will eventually come out of hiding. They will not hide forever, because they want to be found. Well, guess what? God wants to be sought, and He too, wants to be found. He says just that in the Bible. In Jeremiah 29:13 He says, “ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” And as if finding Him is not reward enough for our search, it says in Psalm34:10, “...but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.”

So, what does it look like to seek Him? This is what I am trying to figure out. I am finding that, for me, it means to dig into His word and look for Him in it. It means to spend time alone with Him, listening to His Holy Spirit. It means to look for what He is doing in the lives of others and partner with Him, whether it is by listening, encouraging, giving of time or finances, or praying for them. It says in Proverbs 25:2 “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter”.I desire to search out God. If it is His glory to conceal a matter, surely it will be glorious to search Him out in it. And He promises that we will find Him. He says it again in Matthew 7:7-8, “ Ask, and it will be given to you;seek, and you will find;knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

I don't know about you, but that promise excites me. If I am willing to go after God, He will let me find Him. It is like a game of hide and seek, where you know that you will win. Only this time, the reward is not the praises of your friends, the reward is the Lord.,the Living God, the King of kings. And, the reward is not just hoped for, it is promised!What an extraordinary promise!

It is my prayer that the Lord will encourage you and entice your heart to seek Him out. He will be found. He will fill your heart with good things like His love, His joy, His peace and much more. It will be the best game of hide and seek you have ever enjoyed.

True Love

Last night,as I was shopping, in a very chaotic WalMart, for some candy for Mia's Easter basket, I was overwhelmed with peace. I hummed, I sang to myself, I prayed quietly in my heart. Yes, you heard me, I had peace at WalMart with approximately one million people shopping around me!

As I walked to my car, I thought about this. I was then overwhelmed with the truth behind this peace. Jesus said that He would send us a Helper, the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside of me. The fruits of the Spirit are within my frame, including peace. But, how did this happen? How did I end up with this wonderful gift? Love, that is how.

I reflected on this love. I reflected on the depth of this love and the cost of this love. I was filled with gratitude, joy, and love. Jesus, the very Son of God, the Creator of the universe, humbled Himself and became a baby. He grew up, just like us, into a man. But then, this Man, who had never done anything wrong, who had never sinned, did something unthinkable, something so outside of reason that it makes my mind reel. He , who had no sin, became a sin offering for us, that we might become the righteousness of God. He CHOSE to be beaten, to be spat upon, to be mocked, to be nailed to a cross, to bleed, to suffer, and then to die. Why would He do this? Love. Love is why He did it. Desire for His creation is why He did it. Deep, deep desire for me and for you was His motivation. He did not merely look at that cross and see it as the end, as His finished work. He looked at that cross and in it, He saw our hearts. He saw our faces. He saw each one of us and He longed for us to be with Him. He longed to see the chasm of separation, caused by the first sin in the garden of Eden, closed. He longed for us. He longed for me, and yes, He longed for you.

There is no greater love than to lay your life down for a friend. He laid His life down for His friends. Oh, this love, this selfless, never ending, passionate, fierce love. This love amazes me. This love undoes me. This love has ruined me for anything less. This love is so wide, so deep, so long, so high that it is incomprehensible. So today, I reflect on this love, this love that conquered death and arose victorious. Nothing can separate me from this love...and I would never want to be separated from it. It is awe inspiring, beautiful, sacrificial and pure. Jesus IS love.

A New Name

So, today I got the official court document stating that my name has been changed (back) from Amy Hargrave Moore to Amy Michelle Hargrave. I feel a little weird. I mean, I did request the name change, but I have been Amy Moore for almost 15 years. Who knew I would come back to this place? Not only am I am Amy Hargrave, but I live at home with my parents in the same house I grew up in. It is like I have come full circle.

That means...I am at the beginning again. This could be really fun.