Confession of a Control Freak

I have recently re-discovered some truths that are easy for me to forget from time to time.

The most prominent one right now is that I am not in control. Did you hear me? I am NOT in control. I try to be in control. I want to be in control. No, actually,"want" is quite weak....I really LONG to be in control. I am a bit of a control freak. But guess what? I cannot control it all. I cannot control what happens around me, or the people that I encounter. I cannot control every situation, how people will act or respond or what they will say. I am not the boss of life. There...I said it.  Now, truthfully, I have had this little revelation time and time again, but apparently, I forget and think I am in control every once in a while.

My current situation is out of my control...out of my hands. I have to choose to trust God and believe that He has the very best for me. I have to remind myself that the One who IS in control loves me, cares for my heart and chooses well for me. He is the only one that knows the very best for me and in His great love for me, He desires that I have it. Honestly, when I take time to let that sink in, there is such great peace and safety in the knowledge that God is in control. I can lean into Him, rest in His goodness and His wisdom and the way that He loves me, and live my life in peace. My daily struggle is believing that truth so deep in my heart that I live it, because we all know that just because our brain knows something does not, in fact, mean that our heart believes it. I think it is a struggle for most of us...believing the goodness of God toward us...believing that He can and will choose best for us. The good thing is...I do believe that He is madly in love with me! I know that He desires the very best for me. I know that if I choose to follow Him , He will lead me on the path to the life He has planned for me. Now...if I could just relax and let that all happen!

So..this week...my battle is to believe that He is in control and to believe this scripture:

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.