Recently, I have been faced with the reality, AGAIN, that I am not the great fixer of all problems. In fact, in most situations there is very little I can do in a physical way to even help friends that are experiencing tough times.You know, this is a real kick in the teeth when I want nothing more than to make it all better. I am a fixer, by nature. I want everyone to be happy, healthy, to get along, etc, etc....you get the point.
Maybe it is a friend that has a financial need...and I cannot meet it. Maybe it is a friend who has a sick spouse...and I cannot heal him or even make her pain and fear go away. Maybe it is a friend who is struggling with the greatest battle of their life at the moment...and I cannot win it for them. Maybe it is someone I love battling addiction...and I cannot free them or even make them choose well.
No matter what the situation is or how painful it may be for the ones I love, I cannot jump in and be the rescuer or the fixer. So what CAN I do?
Well, the first thing I can do, which sadly I often put last, is to pray. As a follower of Christ, I believe that when I cry out to God on behalf of those I love, He hears me and He is moved at the sound of my voice. Maybe His answers don't always look like what I desire or what I expect, but I know that He is not an apathetic God and He is working behind the scenes. Maybe He brings comfort to a heart , strength to make the right decision, a financial blessing, rest from the battle, or freedom from addiction. Maybe He just makes Himself known so that those who are in pain or afraid or in bondage do not feel alone.
Another thing that I can do is be a listening ear and encourage my friends. I think we often forget the value of just being there for someone. Just being available is a real gift to many people. In this world, where we are all so caught up in the busyness of our own lives, time is a valuable commodity. When I take time out of my life to spend focused time with a friend, whether in person or on the phone, it makes them feel loved. There is likely nothing more important in my life than making someone feel loved, valuable and cared for in a time of need. So many times people just need to vent. They just want to tell someone how they feel. They don't want me to fix their problem, they just want to talk about it. I can do that. I can also speak life giving words to them, words of love, words of encouragement, words that remind them that they are not alone, that they can get through this battle, that they are valuable and worth fighting for in this crazy rat race world that we live in.
So maybe I cannot FIX the problem and maybe I cannot rescue my friend, but I can mostly certainly pray for them , listen to them, love them, care for their heart and encourage them. I have to remind myself that these are valuable and powerful tools in loving people well, and my desire is to love people well.
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