Do you know?

I should be doing schoolwork, studying veins and arteries, watching documentaries about Gilgamesh, reading Aristotle, yet I am sitting here in a daze, heart aching, plagued by frequent onsets of weeping. Why? Because a beautiful boy took his own life. He was a sweet, funny, polite, full of life and potential ,with greatness spread out before him boy...but this boy must not have been able to see beyond the right now. I wonder, did he know that he was valuable? Did he know that he was wonderful? Did he know that he was smart and busting at the seams with potential? Did he know that God had a plan and a purpose for his life? Did he know that he was loved?


Psalm 139:13-16

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

While I think of this sweet child, I ponder....how many others do not know? Do you know? Do you? Do you know that you are amazing? Do you know that every single hair on your head is accounted for and that every day of your life is already known by the One who made you? Do you know that you are loved and enjoyed by God? Do you know He delights in you? Do you know it says He rejoices over you with gladness and with singing? (Zephaniah 3:17)

I just want to shout it from the mountaintops.

 YOU ARE PRECIOUS! 

YOU ARE VALUABLE! 

YOUR LIFE IS A GIFT!

 YOU HAVE BEEN WORTH FIGHTING FOR SINCE THE MOMENT YOU WERE CONCEIVED!

I know this boy was loved. Chances are he knew his mama loved him and his friends loved him. Most stories of suicide involved people who were loved by friends and family. I know one who I am certain could not possibly have been adored and cherished more by his parents. So that makes me ponder even more. I am sure I will continue to roll this around in my head and pray it through for a very long time.

For tonight, I needed to process and yell and cry while sitting here by myself with a heavy heart. I am passionate about people knowing, with a deep intimate, experiential knowledge that they are loved by God. Maybe tonight someone will read this and begin to ponder what it would be like to believe this for themselves. I sure wish I had taken an opportunity to tell this beautiful boy how much he was loved by God. My prayer is that he is finding out face to face tonight.